“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself”. – Coco Chanel
Do your emotions dictate you? I am a naturally quiet person. I don’t like to share my feelings all that much. Deep down I think it is because I am afraid of my own emotions, what if they scare me, what if I realise I’m not the person I thought I was. Life is scary, it is hard work. Emotions are a part of life; they play a major role in the ups and downs we feel on a daily basis. But when we truly discover our emotions and allow ourselves to feel them, all of them, that is when we grow and become the person we are meant to be.
I recently was chatting with a friend, who called me on it, she very nicely pointed out to me that I don’t do much of the talking, not the real talking anyway. So naturally I went home and asked my husband if he thought I was a closed person. To me it made perfect sense to ask the person who knows me best. It didn’t occur to me that because he is my husband and he does know me best that he would know pretty much everything and he proceeded to remind me that I share everything with him.
But it got me thinking. Why are we so afraid to show our true selves? I’m not saying we have to share our every intimate detail with everyone we meet, that could become a little bit awkward. But why do some people shy away from talking about themselves and their lives and yet others seem to do it with such easy and openness. It got me thinking. Do the people like me who shy away from open conversations miss out in life? When I am either too afraid or unsure of myself to talk about my life with those who are close friends then I rob myself and my friends of a deeper relationship. Think about it for a minute, can you have a one way relationship? No, it is defined as a monologue, so why would I want my life to be a monologue?
I often think that I overthink things. Yes I just wrote a sentence about thinking I overthink! But in all seriousness, I think too often we fall prey to our inner voice, the one that can either cheer us on or pull us down in a matter of seconds, the one we often allow free rein of our thoughts and feelings. While I think our inner voice is an important part of who we are, I think we often allow it to stop us from being more open, from enjoying life more. I tend to over analyse everything. I go over conversations or actions in my head again and again, and then to make it worse I often add in those two little words “what if”, those words never make any scenario better yet we spend so much time focused on them.
Emotions will always be a work in progress. They will always pop up unannounced. I want to live my life fully, I want to get to the end of my life and know that I tried my best to achieve all that I set out to do. I don’ want to get to the end and realise that I let my emotions or fear of my emotions hold me captive. I am in control of my emotions they are not in control of me. Together we can succeed at anything we put our minds to. I will master my emotions one at a time and enjoy my life and not worry about the ‘what if’s’ any longer.
I honestly believe that when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and to be true to our emotions and who we are then we will find the greatest joy and our relationships will connect on a deeper level.
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Blessings Amy x